Is that warning label necessary?Published 10:58am Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Over the weekend our blender died. Considering I use it almost every day for frappes, smoothies and slushies among other things, it is not surprising we wore out the blender. I went and picked out a new blender and glanced over the operating instructions just to make sure there wasn’t something unique about it.
It all looked pretty straight forward. However, I had to wonder about some people when I read the direction: “To stop appliance remove your fingers from the on/off pulse button.” Really? They have to tell people that?
Of course, I understand it is to prevent lawsuits for people who really are that stupid.
This prompted me to look up other directions. I think some of these the manufacturers just were not thinking when they included them on the packaging; some of the others are for people who really are stupid.
Here are a few of the directions that just make me wonder how the human race ever survived.
On a Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Well, rats! There goes my time-saving idea.)
On a Swanson’s frozen dinner: Serving suggestion: Defrost
On an Iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (Um, did someone try this?)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness (Isn’t that the whole idea?)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (Why? Wait if someone thought this was a good idea to begin with then they probably shouldn’t have kids anyway.)
In a microwave oven manual: Do not use for drying pets. (No comment…)
On a muffin packet: Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat. (Um, obviously!)
On a box of aspirin: Do not take if allergic to aspirin. (OK again if you have to be told…)
On a bottle of laundry detergent: Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine. (What? Not fair this would make things go so much faster.)
On shin guards: Warning: Shin guards cannot protect any part of body they do not cover. (Why would someone think that they would?)
On a toilet cleaning brush: Do not use orally. (Gross!)
On a bottle of hair dye: Do not use as ice cream topping. (??)
On a toaster: Do not use underwater. (Why would you? The bread would be soggy anyway.)
A sign in a street in Hong Kong: Beware Of People (After reading some of these directions, I tend to agree!)