For the most part, I truthfully don’t have many fears.

Scary movies are enjoyable, I don’t mind talking in front of people and I love roller coasters. I once put a live cricket in my mouth and ran a relay at a church camp, and in order to gain more points for my team, I ate it.

I love Haunted Houses and Halloween. If I see a snake or spider, I might jump, but I know in the end, that nasty thing will die because I am above it on the food chain (and will kill it.) I think any human is scared of being in the water with sharks, but that’s normal. I’ve crawled through tight spaces for obstacle races, went skydiving and indoor climbing on a 55-foot wall, and also rappelling off the side of a mountain. I’ve signed up and completed a marathon, 150-mile bike ride, and been on stage multiple times in bodybuilding shows.

I’ve done a lot of crazy, adventurous things. None that I regret and all that I enjoyed in one way or another.

I was asked last year while working with ESPN if I could move from my position to a spotter position (higher stress) and asked minutes before the game started. The person who was hired as a spotter let them know last minute they weren’t going to make it in time, and ESPN had to immediately fill that slot. I knew if I said no, because of being fearful in messing up, they could potentially not hire me back. At the same time, if I took the opportunity and did great, they would trust me in that position and keep me in mind for future games. I nervously said yes.  

They provided me with my headset, microphone and other equipment and took me up to the outside of the press box where I had clear eyes on the yard lines.

I want to add, I’m confident in my ability to be a sports broadcaster, to hold my own in a conversation about athletics (specifically football) to write about the game, or to even do sports trivia. But to be on such a big stage, with no preparation or even time to think about what I had just signed up to do, I froze on the inside. I wanted to cry when I got to my chair. I’ve wanted to be sideline reporter for ESPN since I could walk, and here I am holding an ESPN microphone and I’m terrified to speak. In that moment, I realized of my greatest fears wasn’t failure, but actually, success.

I was scared to succeed. I was scared to have more pressure on me that I had become used to when taking the freelance ESPN job. I was scared to be good, or learn how to be better. Would they expect me to be great every time, if I do well today? What if they try and move me up and I have to be on spot with calls and decisions. What if I get to point where I do have a microphone in my hand on the sideline with Nick Saban at half time. Will people think I’m stupid? Will I make a bad judgment call? What if I do actually succeed?

I’ll fast forward. I did do well. I called yard-lines, penalties, points, numbers and losses/gains like a pro. I knew I could, deep down. I had been a spotter a million times. But, I had never been a spotter with a target on my back until that day in Athens, Georgia. I went back and forth with my producer on the headset who assured me I had done well, and even more so, when he found out that was my first time on a collegiate playing field and a major network, even more so.

I was thrown into a den of lions and came out without a scratch, (just little sweaty from being an anxious, stressed out mess.)

How many of us turn down opportunities because we’re scared we’re actually going to do well? How many of us don’t work as hard as we can in fear of being in the spotlight, or moved to a higher position with more responsibilities.

I do it. I do it all the time. I am constantly afraid of being the best. Sometimes, I’m scared of winning. I’m scared of what success will mean for future expectations. Mediocrity is safe. Passion is safe. It’s the action, combined with the passion that creates successful people.

After this last weekend in St. Louis for a fitness conference, I came to the realization that I can no longer fear being great. I should fear missing the opportunity.

If you haven’t read the book Relentless by Tim S. Grover, you should. His first client was Michael Jordan, and he only got better as a trainer of the mind and body after working with MJ.

He spoke on the difference of being a “cooler, closer and cleaner,” which he also refers to in his book. I’ll have to add, he’s blunt, gritty, gruff and right to the point. He likes to add filler words, (if you know what I mean), but with those words, he will smack you straight in the mouth with personal conviction.

To wrap up this novel-column of mine, I’ll explain the difference of these: A cooler waits to be told what to do. He keeps things going in the right direction, with very little ambition and is content with being average. A closer can handle pressure if he/she is told exactly what to do. They’re often concerned with what others think, and will always choose financial security (often living paycheck to paycheck) over growth and success. A cleaner is unstoppable. They trust gut instincts, they do things without being told or asked. They never feel like they have achieved success, they are always working to grow and be better. They create opportunity for themselves. They do what others won’t.

Everyday, I have a choice to be one of those three people, and for the longest, I’ve been a closer at best. I’ll do what I’m told, and get the work done, but I’m scared to grow, to do or be more.

If an opportunity comes, you better take it, because there is a good chance it won’t come twice. Don’t be afraid of winning. Don’t be afraid of success.

Lauren Estes-Velez is a staff writer for the Hartselle Enquirer.