A journey to becoming a family

Lauren Estes-Velez

Hartselle Enquirer

Josh and Jessica Scott wanted nothing more than to have child of their own, and last week, their dream became a reality, but only after years of trials and heartache.

“Our journey to parenthood has not been easy nor conventional,” Josh said. “Jessica knew early on that getting pregnant would take some extra help due to medical reasons, however she never anticipated just how difficult it would really be.”

Scott said they started the process with a six month trial of a fertility drug known as clomid, but quickly found that the drug failed and more tests were ran.

“Jessica’s OBGYN recommended a referral to a fertility specialist in Huntsville. After meeting with the specialist and learning our many options, we chose to start with the least invasive approach which was the process known as Intrauterine Insemination or IUI,” Josh said. “We knew the success rate for women under the age of 35 was anywhere from 10-20%, but we were told the more a couple tries something, the more likely it is that they’ll get pregnant. But just like trying naturally, there comes a point when certain treatments no longer work.”

After five failed IUIs and much prayer, the Scott’s consulted their physician about another approach,  In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). It was successful, they later discovered.

“Jessica became pregnant in October of 2012 after the 1st round of IVF in which two embryos were implanted,” Josh said. “Both embryos took and we were delighted to learn we were finally pregnant with twins. At the 15 week checkup, we were even more delighted to learn that we had been blessed with both a girl and boy. There were no words to truly describe just how happy we were that our prayers had been answered. Because of the high risk when carrying twins, Jessica was able to be seen every two weeks by the doctor just to make sure everyone was doing fine. At her 22 week checkup, a routine ultrasound was done to check the development of the babies in which the doctor noticed that Jessica’s cervix had already began to thin to a point in which a procedure to help stop the thinning called a cervical cerclage would not have been possible.”

Scott said his wife was immediately referred to a high risk specialist, Dr. Hugh Bailey, in  Huntsville who was able to see her right away. Dr. Bailey explained that Jessica was in active labor and would be admitted to Huntsville Hospital immediately and there she would remain until the birth of the babies.

“Once admitted, Jessica was placed on strict bedrest and given IV Magnesium sulfate to help stop the labor from progressing. She was also given steroid injections to help develop the two babies lungs,” Josh said. “On March 14, 2013 just 10 days after being admitted (which coincidentally was our four year anniversary) Jessica’s water broke. This is known as premature rupture of membranes (PROM) because she wasn’t experiencing any contractions at the time. After consulting with Dr. Bailey we agreed to try and keep the babies ‘cooking’ as long as possible.”

Each day in the womb was less time in the Neonatal ICU and on the morning of March 16, 2013, Jessica begin to experience full labor. The Scott’s immediately called their doctor in.

“At only 24 weeks four days gestation, we would be welcoming our twins as there was no stopping labor this time,” Jessica said. “At 9:36 a.m. our daughter Lena Maddox was born via c-section weighing 1lb 3oz. At 9:37 a.m., we welcomed our son Madden Ray weighing 1lb 6oz. They were quickly rushed to the Neonatal ICU floor. We were blessed with only a few short days with each child. Due to their very early birth, lack of proper organ development, and extremely low birth weight, our sweet babies would soon be welcomed in the arms of Jesus.”

Lena Maddox Scott passed away on March 24, 2013 at just 8 days old. Her brother would soon join her on April 1, 2013 at 15 days old. The Scott’s hearts were left completely broken.

“Together, we were both present to witness our babies’ first and last breaths in the arms of their mother,” Josh said. “We were left standing empty handed, and broken hearted at a crossroad in our life. Two paths were laid before us. We could chose to let this tragedy destroy our life, marriage, and faith, or we could find a way to use our story to impact the kingdom of God. We were determined to not be defeated.”

Children expect to bury their parents one day, but no parent ever expects to bury their child, let alone, both of their only children.

The Scott’s bragged that their home community of Falkville, church family, friends, and family rallied around them and supported tem during one of the darkest times of their lives.

“The outpouring of love shown to us during this particular trial in life is one we’ve never seen or felt before,” Jessica said. “Peck Funeral Home and their incredible staff made one of the most difficult things we’ve ever faced more bearable with the amount of compassion, care, and professionalism that was shown to us. They truly do provide “service from the heart”. Because of Maddox and Madden’s short time on earth, we simply opted for a small intimate graveside service with close friends and family in attendance. We laid our sweet angels to rest side by side at the Falkville Town Cemetery. Our lives left forever changed.”

The attitude and mindset for the future quickly changed as the couple began considering other options.

“We both have had a heart for adoption and it was discussed early on in our relationship, but it was something we had discussed doing later in life after having biological children,” Jessica said. “We just didn’t know that God had other plans for our lives. After the loss of our twins, we decided to try one more round of IVF in which again two embryos were implanted and one successfully took.”

“We were again overjoyed to learn we were pregnant with child,” Josh said. “However, things didn’t go as planned again. At just six weeks along, eight months after losing our twins, Jessica miscarried with our third child. Why was God allowing such grief in our lives? Were we not meant to be parents as we have both dreamed we always would? Our faith was tested and though we wavered and stumbled, God sought us out. The call of adoption was heavy on our hearts.”

The questions began to outpour on Josh and Jessica. They said they began to think how they would rebuild after enduring such a loss.

“For us, it was coming together and reconfirming that we still felt that God wanted us to have a family and to be parents,” Jessica said. “After many months of prayer and research, we both felt that the need for families to foster to adopt in our state was too great. With approximately 5,000 children in foster care and that number growing daily, we knew there was a baby either existing or fated to be born that needed a home, and ours was a home that needed a baby.”

Jessica said they initially reached out to Morgan County DHR to inquire just how to become a licensed foster family.

“Just 10 months after our miscarriage, we began the process of becoming a foster to adopt family,” Josh said. “We had to complete an orientation class, a 30 hour preparation course which spanned over a 10 week period, and pass a detailed background check and home study.”

In November of 2014, the Scott’s were officially a licensed foster family.
“On December 9, 2015 we welcomed our 13 day old son into our home,” Jessica said. “Due to confidentiality reasons, we cannot disclose many details other than he has shared our home and love for 574 days and on July 5, 2017 he finally shares our last name. We became the forever parents to our son Tatum Lee Scott. Watching our son grow, reach milestones, develop his personality (and temper) are moments we have cherished. When you once thought these tiny things that many take for granted would be unobtainable, you burn every moment into your memory.”

“Watching our dream of being parents unfold before our eyes is joy indescribable,” Josh said. “The joy we have experienced over the last year and a half is a joy that reverberates through every pore of our being. From here we continue to grow as a family and strive to walk in God’s will. We are unsure of the path that God will take us, but we trust him to continue working in our lives, moment by moment, day by day.”

One of the hardest lessons the Scott’s learned over the last seven years is that the plan for their lives, does not always coincide with God’s plan for our lives.

“The road to parenthood was long and bumpy and tested our faith more than we care to admit, but God has a way of using the situation you are in today to prepare you for the place you will be tomorrow,” Jessica said. “Our advice (which was advice that was shared to us) for other couples dealing with infertility or loss of child is this: On the days when it’s all you can do just to function, that’s okay. On the days when you try your hardest to pull yourself together, and somehow things just don’t work out, give yourself grace. Even when you don’t feel it, YOU ARE BRAVE. When your life looks as if it’s falling apart, as we thought millions of times, It just might be falling into place as God has intended. Know that where there is great pain, there is even greater love.”
The Scott’s want to share for those who are contemplating becoming a foster family or even adoption, to please think about not only all the kids here in Morgan county, but around the state of Alabama that are in need of a loving and safe home whether that is temporary or forever.

“You could be that one profound impact that could change their life for the better,” they said.

The Scott’s were impacted by Matthew 25:40 40: “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”