Is there such a thing as too thankful?

By Staff
Leada Gore, Editor
We're generally not big television watchers around my house, so it was a bit odd that Greg and I sat down this week and watched the Golden Globes award show.
Let me correct that. I watched the program. Greg alternately napped and griped about what we were watching. Once, when I left the room, he switched it to "Monster Garage" but I made him change it back.
I don't know why I wanted to watch the program. As with most award shows, it was long and drawn-out with a few awards sprinkled among lots of commentary and "candid" shots of perfectly poised actors in the audience.
Most everyone looked nice, although I did wonder how the women ate (they serve food at the Golden Globes) while wearing those extremely tight dresses. Some were so tight that I imagine just walking – let alone scarfing down a filet mignon – would be a challenge.
The thing that struck me the most however was the utter ridiculousness of the acceptance speeches. The winners acted as if they were totally shocked and then pulled a prepared statement out of their pockets. They thanked their managers, their agents, their spouses, their co-stars, the directors, their castmates, etc., etc. They cried. Then they started thanking even more people, something along the lines of remembering Aunt Sally who supported their dreams when no one else did, etc., etc.
The thankful theme ran through speech after speech. I was waiting for someone to just say "Ditto" after accepting their award.
It would have been refreshing to hear a bit of honesty in the acceptance speeches. Something along the lines of:
"I would like to thank my parents, who are still asking me when I am going to get a real job and saying I must have gotten too big for my britches as I didn't come home for Christmas yet again." Or,
"I would like to thank Mr. Spencer, my 10th-grade math teacher, for being honest and letting me know I won't ever need geometry, and algebra because they won't really have any bearing on my life, therefore I should do the one thing I seem to be able to handle." Or,
"I would like to thank my makeup artist, hairdresser, stylist, personal shopper and, most importantly, my plastic surgeon, for making me look this good tonight. Trust me, underneath the makeup and without the body work, I'm a complete disaster." Or,
"Thanks to the person who's going to cut me out of this really-tight dress after this silly show is over. The donuts are on me everybody!"
Those would be honest speeches and would make the show more real. Maybe we'll hear them at the Oscars.