Telemarketers have the world's worst timing

By Staff
Michelle Blaylock, Mom's Corner
Last week I had a telephone call from a telemarketer. (Collective groan, please.) Unfortunately, I happened to be making an after school snack for my five school-aged children with the help of my three-year-old son. If you don't understand why I said unfortunately, then you've never had a three-year-old help you make cookies while you're trying to carry on a telephone conversation with someone you really didn't want to talk to anyway.
The telemarketer asked if I was busy and I answered, most truthfully, "Yes." I was hoping that he would take the hint and say goodbye. His response? "Oh, well then I'll be really quick." I have a blast for him–it was already too long.
I really have no idea what he was selling, or trying to sell, because I was too busy trying to keep my three-year-old from adding things to the batter that didn't need to be added. You know, like pepper.
The telemarketer kept talking, and talking, and talking. In the meantime, he has to be hearing things like, "No, Logan, cookies don't have pepper in them." "Mommy, me do it! Mommy, me wanna help." "Logan, wait! I'll let you put the chocolate chips in. No, not now. We have to add the flour first. No, you don't turn on the mixer. Mommy does that." "Mommy, it go fasser!"
You know, you would think the telemarketer would get the idea I wasn't paying attention to him. Well, he didn't. He finally finishes his whole long spiel and asks, "So can I sign you up?" I'm thinking, "Huh? Sign me up? Up for what?"
I considered pointing out that originally I had told him I was busy, but I figured it wouldn't make any difference. So I responded, in the nicest voice I could muster, "No thank you, but thanks for calling anyway. Goodbye." Click.
I've had other telemarketer experiences. One that sticks out in my mind happened the fall we had two two-year-olds, two four-year-olds, a six-year-old, an eight-year-old, and an 11-year-old. School had just started and I was trying desperately to get everyone to school on time.
The phone rang just as we were gathering backpacks, lunches and stuff. I picked up the phone and was greeted with, "Good morning! I'm from ______. I'd like to discuss your telephone service."
Oh, good grief. "Listen, I'm trying to get seven kids out the door. Now is not a good time." He responds with, "Oh, do you work?"
"Um, well, I'm a full time mom with seven kids."
And here is where he sunk his own boat, "Oh, so you don't work." What? I don't work! I responded with, "No I don't work and you're interrupting my soap operas and bon bons. I've got to go!" Click! I'd like to see him stay home with seven kids!
My daddy has other ways of dealing with telemarketers, especially before the no call list went into effect, which, by the way, I finally got around to signing us up for. One time a telemarketer called Daddy and the conversation went like this:
Telemarketer: "Hello, Mr. Tillmon, I'd like a few minutes of your time to introduce you to our new program."
Daddy: "Are you a telemarketer?"
TM: "Why, yes sir, I am."
Daddy: "Really! You're really a telemarketer?"
TM: "Yes sir, I am."
Daddy: "Goodbye." Click.
I somehow doubt the telemarketer found this as amusing as Daddy did.
Now, I do have to be fair. I've had some very considerate telemarketers, too. In fact, a few weeks ago a telemarketer called–and talk about bad timing. I was trying to get ready for Christmas. I had three sick kids and was trying to house train a puppy. On top of all of that I was trying to sew four ponchos for my girls and one niece–without them finding out (poor planning on my part). Anyway, I'm sure when I answered the phone, my voice had to have the "this better be very good" tone in it. The telemarketer said immediately, "I've caught you at a very bad time, haven't I? I'll try back later. Sorry to have bothered you." Obviously, a very perceptive woman.
In all honesty, I feel kind of sympathetic toward telemarketers. I realize they are just trying to make a living. It's just a shame it has to be such an annoying way to do it.
If you have a question, comment, or suggestion for Mom's Corner, send it to: Mom's Corner; P.O. Box 1496; Hartselle, AL 35640 or e-mail: moms-corner@juno.com. I'm beginning to collect ideas for Valentine's Day. If you have something special you do or plan to do for someone in your life, I'd love to have you share it with me. I promise to keep it a secret!