You might live in a Southern town if…
By By Michelle Blaylock, Mom’s Corner
Having grown up in a small Southern town and now raising a family in one, I have often thought of the things we do and share that “outsiders” just do not get or find strange. Over the last few years I have kept a list of some of these things and began a “You might live in a small Southern town if. . .” list.
You might live in a small Southern town if you dress up to go out and rent videos.
You might live in a small Southern town if going to the PTO program is considered a “night on the town.”
You might live in a small Southern town if Wal-Mart is the social gathering place for adults on Friday night and McDonald’s is the social gathering place for teens.
You might live in a small Southern town if one of your child’s teachers remembers your child’s grandfather as being “hot.”
You might live in a small Southern town if local gas station also doubles as the barber shop, video rental store, restaurant and grocery store.
You might live in a small Southern town if every Friday you go to a high school football game whether or not you have a relative playing.
You might live in a small Southern town if the newspaper printed a “congratulations to you and your fianc/” before the proposal even took place.
You might live in a small Southern town if your mother called your place of employment and grounded you, before you even left to go to the party you had lied about.
You might live in a small Southern town if the police and fire departments do not have to use street names to find homes; they just say it’s where so and so used to live.
You might live in a small Southern town if everyone knows you’re pregnant before your husband.
You might live in a small Southern town if police don’t bother to stop you to give you a ticket; they just stop by your house when they have time.
You might live in a small Southern town if the police do not give kids a ticket; they just call the parents.
You might live in a small Southern town if you just know who brings what dish to the monthly pot-luck at your church.
You might live in a small Southern town if the answer to anything is food. An illness in the family — take a casserole and a dessert. Someone in the family has surgery — take a casserole and a dessert. A death in the family — take casserole and two desserts. Food will not fix the problem, but it makes everyone feel better. (Now we know why the south is the “fattest,” but we feel better!)
You might live in a small Southern town if your parents call the local farmer and make arrangements for the kids to “steal” pumpkins, because the kids are bored at Halloween.
You might live in a small Southern town if a bout of flu in one family shuts down half the town.
You might live in a small Southern town if the dog catcher doesn’t take the dogs to the dog pound; she just returns them to their owner.
You might live in a small Southern town if going grocery shopping is a date night for you and your spouse.
You might live in a small Southern town if people sit in cars in the middle of the road just to say, “Hey.”
You might live in a small Southern town if you discover after several months of dating, your date is a distant cousin.
You might live in a small Southern town if it is hard to get a date because all the boys are terrified of your daddy.
You might live in a small Southern town if the first day of deer season is a school holiday.
You might live in a small Southern town if confidentiality means it is not printed in the local newspaper.
You might live in a small Southern town if the school gives a excused absence for students attending sporting events in support of the team.
You might live in a small Southern town if you can’t gossip about anyone because everyone is related to everyone else in some way or another.
You might live in a small Southern town if you can read all of this and not take offense, because we love a good laugh and can enjoy laughing at ourselves!
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