Directions aren’t always clear
By By Michele Blaylock, Mom’s Corner
I was talking with some friends this week and we started discussing some of the directions and warnings we have read recently on various packages.
It makes me wonder if some people are really that well, um, unintelligent. OK, stupid.
Let me give you some examples of: “Are you kidding someone needed to be told this?”
Directions on the flap of a Kit Kat bar: Lift here and pull to open. (Need directions on how to chew, too?)
In a car handbook: In order to get out of car, open door.
(If you need to be told this, I do not think you should be driving to begin with!)
On Dial Soap: Use like regular soap (As opposed to what?)
On a power washer: Warning do not spray in mouth. (Um, yeah.)
In a microwave oven manual: Do not use for drying pets. (These people shouldn’t even own a pet!)
On a toothbrush package: Do not place plastic over head.
(If you are that tiny, how are you using the toothbrush to begin with?)
On a package of grapes: Store in cold section of refrigerator. (Is there a hot section of the refrigerator?)
On an infant stroller: Remove infant before folding for storage. (What? Did someone not do this?)
On iron: Do not iron clothes on body, may cause injury. (Is this for a bachelor?)
On a package of Christmas lights: Indoor or outdoor use only. (OK, it is the ‘only’ part that gets me. Is there another dimension I am missing?)
Curling iron: Product will become hot when in use. (Well, I hope so!)
Curling iron: For external use only. (Are they kidding?)
On sleeping pills: May cause drowsiness. (No, really?)
On a fruit roll up: Remove plastic before eating. (News flash: Kids who would do this probably cannot read.)
Remote for a TV: Not dishwasher safe. (Oh, darn! )
On a washing machine: No small children. (No comment.)
On a skateboard: Warning product will move when in use. (You think?)
Cattle prod: For use on animals only. (Wow, and my kids thought I was mean!)
Can of self-defense pepper spray: Caution! May irritate eyes. (Isn’t that the idea?)
On shin pads: Shin pads cannot protect parts of body they do not cover. (If you need to be told this . . .)
On a bottle of aspirin: Do not take if allergic to aspirin.
On a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle: Some assembly required. (What? It does not magically put itself together??)
On a bottle of hair dye: Do not use as ice cream topping. (I bet this was a teen prank.)
And last, but not least:
On a blowtorch: Not intended for drying hair.
Hope you have a great week! If you have a question or comment for Mom’s Corner, please e-mail it to: moms-corner@juno.com
